If I fell–Songfic

Warning: One Tree Hill’s Brooke and her feelings during Season 6 mainly surrounding her ‘relationship’ with Julian.

I still remember talking to him the first time. He was so arrogant and jock like. So sure of himself and we all thought he was here for Peyton. I mean he really tried to make her jealous or something. And now what does he want? He was so cute when he helped me looking for Sam. He was so caring and he kind of saved me.

If I fell in love with you

would you promise to be true,

and help me understand?

What is tonight about? Why am I dressed like this? Could Sam be right? He really did say 'Hot clothing designer' what does that mean? Should I really dress up tonight? Arrgh Sam and her stupid ideas! And now everything changed.

'cos I've been in love before,

and I found that love was more,

than just holding hands.

His grin! That should be illegal. I just don't know what to think. I can't think when I am around him. Sam walking in on us should be proof enough of that. He is driving me crazy but is really a good guy? Having fun, what is that? He said it and than Peyton told me that he jumped right into bed with someone else after their break up. And than he looked so hurt when I pulled the breaks! Why? If we are just having fun he shouldn't be hurt!

If I give my heart to you,

I must be sure from the very start,

that you would love me more then her.

And then only hours later Peyton tells me her facts were wrong! Oh my god! But what does this mean? He skipped his own premier to nurse his broken heart! He still loves her... Why does this always happen to me?

If I trust in you, oh please,

Don't run and hide,

Oh what does he want now? He is giving me the jacket back? Oh no he really don't loves me. Steady? What does that mean. Am I just a game? Oh my I totally understand why Peyton fell for him. He has a way with words. He is here for the girl in the book , the other girl, me!

If I love you too, oh please don't hurt my pride like her.

That ass! Brookeish? What is that? What does he think? I am not a slut and I never was! Okay maybe... but that so doesn't give him the right do laugh at me. Thank god Peyton is okay with me and Julian. Why is Missy so annoying? What? Who wrote that crazy piece of paper? Sex? That wasn't all I did! What is he thinking? I am not that girl anymore! High school Brooke is gone!

'Cos I couldn't stand the pain,

Oh my god he is so cute! The second break down got me melting. I never want to loose him. And now this. Why did he say that? I just can't say it now it has so much meaning. And then he accuses me of still loving Lucas or hiding behind Sam? That is so not fair! He is so cute and says the perfect thing one minute and than he is being a jerk again.

And I would be sad if our new love was in vain.

What did just happen? It was his idea to forget this freaking incident and when I am ready he just leaves and doesn't even want to meet after his appointment if there even was one! What did I do wrong? He is ignoring me! Why? And now the movie got cancelled and he has to leave. Karma is a bitch! Do I really want him to leave? I feel so bad! He such a good guy.

So I hope you see,

That I would love to love you,

Oh he is so good with words. 'The beauty is in the attempt!' What can I do? I want him to stay. He can't go now. I am going to miss him. Will he come back? Can we still work out? What does the future hold?

And that she will cry when she learns we are two.

He wants me to come with him! He wants Sam to come too? What should I do? I don't want to loose him but Sam she needs a stable environment. Maybe Peyton can help? Apparently not... She is making jokes. I cannot leave! There are a million things here for me Sam, my friends and the wedding and Peyton didn't like it in LA! I really can't decide. I can't go.

'Cos I couldn't stand the pain,

And I would be sad if our new love was in vain.

I said it. I told him I wouldn't go! I lost him! What did I do? Am I stupid? Will I ever see him again?

So I hope you see,

That I would love to love you,

And that she will cry when she learns we are two.

If I fell in love with you.

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So what do you think?

Why am I doing this? I am archiving my work here so I wont loose it. Once upon a time I had a livejournal but that has been discontinued due to my lack of knowledge which name and password or email I used there!